Detention seeker

Paris Hilton. Clever, strategically minded, but penniless PR machine or mentally retarded rich girl? Either way she's doing porridge. Yep in an attempt to go one better than Britney Spears's attention-seeking shaven rehab visit Hilton's going to jail.

Aussies stay in Iraq to make US look good

OK brace yourselves because I'm about to get all talk-back radio on your arses and tell you what I think is wrong with the country. Australian Prime Minister John Howard has come out and said he doesn't want to bring his troops home from Iraq because ... wait for it ...

Bean boy hostage cried self to sleep

Richard Berry's take on the UK sailors release and the "beyond terrifying" account of Arthur the navigator who was teased by his captors!

Afl Schmafl

Am I the only person in Victoria not counting down to the start of the AFL season? I grew up in New South Wales so I don't officially recognise AFL as a sport. Oooh controversy.

Hicks charge sheet

David Hicks was finally charged today after five years. Here's the charge sheet. Tell me if you think this will hold up in court. A court where most of the people asking the questions will be wearing green. The second charge has been dropped without explanation.

Flying car by 2010

I'm all for flying cars, I always have been. But what I'm not all for are scientists who promise us flying cars and don't deliver. I hate that.

Stallone raided by customs officials

Sylvester Stallone was picked up by customs officers when he flew into Sydney a few days ago to promote his new movie. Apparently the customs officials were concerned about some of the substances Rocky was bringing into the county.

You're a stupid idiot for saying that

OK, we haven't done one of these for a while, but nothing falls into this category better than US Democratic Senator Joseph Biden and the comments he made last Wednesday.

Yay! Cold War II

Richard Berry heralds the end of the War on Terror and welcomes Cold War II. Yep with the announcment that the Commies have test launched the RS-24 super multi-nuclear warhead missile it's USA V Russia all over again.

Why my long face?

Is there a big wedding on today in Melbourne? Out on the streets the men are wearing Oakleys and suits that don't fit and all the women have on are a tiny hats and fake tan. Oh yeah, the Melbourne Cup.

Pack for a nuclear winter

Summer might be just around the corner, but so too it seems is a nuclear winter. The Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) has announced that North Korea has successfully performed a nuclear test.

Millennium Bug: The Sequel

In terms of total non-events only Yasmin's Getting Married beats the Millennium Bug. You were there, nothing happened.

Get the Kim Jong-Il look

All right Men's Fashion Friday it is. The day when I get you the goddamned look of presidents and dictators for a whole lot less. We've had requests for women, but they don't count because they aren't men and this is Men's Fashion Friday. Yeah men rule! Quite literally.

Naomi Robson's flailing career

The news that Today Tonight anchor Naomi Robson has been kicked out of Indonesia where she was working , reportedly, on story about cannibalism, comes just over a week after she was criticised for a "tacky" on-air appearance outside the Australia Zoo.

Peter Brock killed

MOTOR racing champion driver Peter Brock has been killed in a racing accident in Western Australia. The Confederation of Australian Motor Sport (CAMS) said in a statement the accident occurred at about 1.50pm (AEST).

Get the Ahmadinejad look

For too long fashion has been all about women. It's crazy when you think about it. Magazines are chock-full of pretty clothes for lunching ladies to buy with their husbands' money. Frankly, it's pretty sexist. Well, things are going to change.

US spy chief visit kept from Aussies

WHEN the US sent its national security chief to the Pine Gap spy base for secret talks in December, more than a billion Chinese were told, but Australians were not allowed to know.

Charlie Sheen saved my life

I have a confession to make - flying scares the living heck out of me. Actually that's not true, the fear begins ages before the plane leaves the end of the runway. My knuckles go white at check-in.

Crikey, can the Crocodile Hunter really be gone?

HE MADE a career toying with some of the most aggressive and deadly animals on the planet. But what killed Steve Irwin in the end was quite unexpected, a freakishly unlucky accident involving a creature more prone to timidity than aggression.

Kim Jong-Il on train to China

South Korean intelligence authority is informed that Kim Jong Il's special train passed Yalu River toward China on Tuesday.

Vanilla Ice for hire

Eminem busted a gut convincing the world that white guys can rap too, now it looks as though Vanilla Ice is about to undo all of Shady's work. Yep Ice is back from where we left him in 1991 with a brand new invention… well not really.

The fat lady has sung

If I was bald and overweight, had all the money in the world and a successful recording career behind me I would just shut the hell up, buy an island and get out of everybody's way. Not Elton John. The "Rocket Man" has announced he wants to try hip-hop.

CIA link to Bali bomb?

Indonesian Muslim cleric Abu Bakar Bashir claims America's top spy agency was involved in the devastating 2002 Bali bombings.

NK nuke test at any time

North Korea could conduct a nuclear test at any time if leader Kim Jong-il makes the decision, National Intelligence Service director Kim Seung-kyu said Monday.

North Korea readying for nuke test?

As ABC broadcasted that North Korea might be preparing for a nuclear test in Kilju county of North Hamkyung province, quoting US officials, the country, again, attracts international attention.

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